Okay, I’ve read the entire Vince-Kath tale, from start to part 11. I’m sorry to the fans of Vince, but my understanding of the psychological profiles of VAWC (Violence Against Women and their Children) perpetrators indicates that there is a very high chance that Vince will be a VAWC perpetrator later. I would like to highlight some particular red flags:
1. The speed of the relationship. The reason for this is that a VAWC perpetrator wants to establish control right away. Vince introduced himself, and the next day he already made extraordinary effort to win over Kath (making banners for the Ms. ME pageant). Now, don’t get me wrong. Just because somebody rushes into a relationship does not mean that he is a potential VAWC perpetrator. But consider the other tell-tale signs:
2. Vince is capable of violence. In Part 4, Kath refers to the fact Vince and Jake almost had a fistfight. (See picture.)
3. More telling is Vince’s reaction to Jake’s presence in Kath’s house, picture 2 of Part 8, as well as dismissing Kath instead of helping her in picture 5 of Part 9, and making Kath guilty when she needed to go to Dubai to visit her sick Dad, picture 11 of Part 9. All of these are forms of emotional blackmail, itself a form of domestic abuse.
4. Vince pushed to see Kath even when the latter did not expect to see him.
5. Vince is too charming. While many women may think of this as a good thing, the truth of the matter is, according to Sandra Brown in How to Spot a Dangerous Man before You Get Involved, if he is too charming, if he has all the right lines and appears excessively smooth, you may be dating a potential domestic abuser.
Disclaimer: I am a lawyer, not a psychologist, although I am working on my master’s degree in social work, and although I had been listening to abused women since 2007 and acting as their lawyer since 2014, so my opinion may be wrong.
